Someone That I Used To Know

Such a puzzling concept...We can have the most open, intimate relationships with people, only to become complete strangers when the dissolution of that relationship occurs. When thinking back on my life, this applies not only to friendships, but to family bonds, boyfriends, and marriages.

In the throes of like, love, and lust, we expose ourselves and our vulnerabilities. If we are lucky, we build on mutual trust, becoming close, becoming partners, becoming united. We give over to the belief that our relationship will endure the hardships that life frequently offers.

Time, distance, betrayal, growth; they influence the trajectory of our relationships. While some merely fizzle out for lack of effort, others are significantly, and eternally destroyed. What then, of the secrets shared, of the opinions tossed out in conversation, of the intricate balance that we individually operate on? What happens to the endearments, the inside jokes, the stories where only the two of you were present? Are they still a part of your history? Do you include that person in the retelling? Do you bury them deeply, only to recover them when time has sufficiently healed your wounds?

There is no formula for recovering from the death of such a relationship. Instead, we are left in the ashes, the embers, to pick up pieces of the life we have lived and the person you believe you are still. The Reconstruction Era, thoroughly confusing, poses and opportunity to select the best from those relationships, and choose the lessons best taught, no matter how painful. The someone that you used to know no longer exists, and neither does the you that you used to know. Rebuild and fortify. Don't look back, no matter how glaring that rearview mirror can be.